Because I am taking a class about substance abuse and addiction recovery, I thought I would add some information on this page about how to help a loved one overcome substance use disorders (including behavior disorders like pornography, eating, or gambling addictions).
- Books to Read
- Good Podcasts to Listen to
- Tips for Dealing with Addiction
Books to Read:
Good Podcasts to Listen to:
- Naked Marriage Podcast by Dave and Ashley Willis
- Available on Spotify as well.
- Specific Episodes to listen to:
- Ditch Your Sexual Baggage (Oct 29, 2018)
- Affair Proof Your Marriage Part 1 and 2 (Oct 14 & 23, 2018)
- Addiction, Sobriety, and Recovery (March 16, 2020)
- Porn and Sex Addiction (March 23, 2020)
- Dave and Ashley are wonderful and I have listened to each of these episodes. Dave is very open about his previous struggle with pornography addiction and how he was able to overcome it and save their marriage. They often invite guests onto the show who have specific specialties concerning marriage to help provide perspective.
- They are Christian and Pastors of their church.
- Addict II Athlete by Coach Blu
- Specific Episodes to lisen to:
- The Addicted Brain by Coach Blu and Dr. Blake Rapier (Nov. 25, 2019)
- Dr. Blake Rapier is an Addiction Specialist and Medical Director at Ardu Recovery on how the brain is affected by addiction.
- They discuss specific issues related to the functionality of the brain itself. They talk about best practices and ways to break the addicted brain. There is hope in sobriety and rewiring the brain. This is a powerful podcast with a lot of new knowledge that may require you listening to it multiple times.
- Coach Blu's Story (Dec. 23, 2019)
- Coach Blu is
- He goes through his erase and replace philosophy in his own life with all the struggles and growing pains he endured to become the person we all know as Coach. He discusses past trauma that played a huge part in his addiction. He turns the mess of addiction into the message of hope, healing and self-discovery.
- Coach Blu started a new job as a therapist working with persons with substance use disorders and thought back on his own experience with addiction and how he found strength from the support of others and being active. He is the founder of Addict II Athlete, a non-anonymous support group crushing the stigma that accompanies addiction.
- Potentially?
Ted Talks:
Tips for Dealing with Addiction:
Taken from Beyond Addiction: How science and kindness help people change, a guide for families. by Jeffrey Foote, PhD; Carrie Wilkens, PhD; and Nicole Kosanke, PhD
- Understand what stage your loved one is in.
- Do they realize there is a problem that needs to be changed?
- Are they in the process of making a plan to change?
- Are they currently trying to make a change?
- Have they made a change and are currently struggling to maintain a new lifestyle?
- Practice Deep Listening
- Steps:
- See people for who they really are (be 100% present)
- Listen with empathy and compassion
- Withhold judgment and don’t interrupt
- Outcome:
- We build more trust and a deep rapport with clients
- We automatically come from a place of empathy and understanding
- We provide a safe environment for deep healing
- We listen for insight rather than information
- We are inspired instead of “matter-of-facting”
- We rely on insight as the transformative teacher
- Insight is the key to transformation which is the key to long-lasting recovery and change
- Learn more about Deep Listening at this link.
- Understand what motivates your loved one.
- Questions to ask:
- When do they typically use their substance of choice?
- Are there certain circumstances or behaviors that trigger their substance use?
- What are the short-term positive consequences of their substance use?
- What are the long-term negatives of their substance use?
- Things that can change motivation:
- Feeling acknowledged, understood, and accepted as you are (not contingent on doing something or not doing something)
- Getting information without pressure
- Having options
- Having reasons that make sense for a particular choice
- Having a sense of competence about how to change/steps to take
- Getting positive feedback for positive change
- Things that crush motivation:
- Feeling misunderstood and judged
- Other people pushing you to do it
- Having only one option
- Not having reasons for change that make sense to you (the person doing it)
- Not believing you can do it
- Getting yelled at
- Focus on the things you can change:
- How comfortable you are right now
- How optimistic you are in general
- What behaviors you encourage
- How much you argue
- How often you smile
- How much you sleep
- How strong you feel
- Your habitual reactions
- Your tone of voice
- What you pay attention to
- Your point of view
- The atmosphere in your home
- How isolated you feel
- How you deal with stress
- How much you worry
- Your heart rate
- How you spend your money
- How you express concern
- What substance you use
- How you help
- How you get help
- What kind of help you get
- The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning
- Whether anything good happens today
- How much you enjoy life
Websites to visit:
- https://www.google.com/search?q=podcasts+about+substance+abuse&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS881US881&oq=podcasts+about+substance+abuse&aqs=chrome..69i57.5308j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
- https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/jump-link-same-page
- https://www.verywellmind.com/addictive-behaviors-4157291
- https://www.verywellmind.com/addiction-4157312
- https://changingattitudes.co/porn
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